Today I am welcoming a new guest to ‘1nildown2oneup.’ Delighted to introduce a first ever blog anywhere by my good twitter buddy from the ‘Emerald Isle,’ John ‘Woody’ Woods, better known to many as @woodysirish. If you don’t follow him I sincerely suggest you are missing out and what follows will convince you. He knows his Arsenal and is over for the Liverpool and Stoke games if you wish to catch him for a pint, as I most certainly will. The style and content is quirky and comedic but the message is serious….
In replying to @goonerdave66 ‘s blogs over the past few months, he has started to say that my comments were like blogs in themselves, and that I should try writing one for myself… so here goes.
As the headline says forget your David Villas or Yann M’Vilas, our priority this transfer window should be the famous Dr. Phil.. not Scholari, but another similarly fat balding middle age man. Yes the American psychiatrist from Daytime TV made famous on Oprah. “What the F##k is this twat on about I hear you ask?” Well please bear with me till I have stated my case..
Regardless of what people think, the atmosphere in stadiums does rub off on the players, and affects their performances greatly. So if a stadium is full of nervous, moaning and groaning booing and hissing type’s the player’s will “play with fear” as AW loves to tell us. Fear of possible mistakes and the impending doom and wrath of the so called “faithful.” This has been rearing its ugly head far too much for me lately and it can be stopped or helped at least by my old mate Dr. Phil!
You see, I feel a lot of it has got to do with the fact that a lot of us, and to an extent myself included can’t seem to let go of “The Invincibles” and naturally it’s hard to forget such great days, but I think as a club and as fans of the club and for the sake of everybodys sanity, it’s time we did just that..
We compare everything to those wonderful days, and don’t want to let go. Everything was cheaper, the football was better, the trophies were rolling in, and all was Rosie. We don’t seem to want to admit that everything, not just our club, our players, our stadium, our countries and circumstances have changed, the game has changed, the way we watch the game has changed, and thanks to social media the way we celebrate, gloat, and/or whinge has changed. But mainly for me, the way we as supporters have changed…
We want success now, we don’t care how we get it – we want it now….
We compare every signing to Bergamp, Henry, Vieira and Adams… Like most recently, people giving out about Arleta and comparing him to Gilberto. Not fair! For me Arteta’s doing a wonderful job, and I wonder how Gilberto would look in among our current crop, or using all the above reasons, I can only imagine how good Mikel would have looked in the Invincibles side. (Using a reverse comparison there before anyone says “oh your being hypocritical there”).
If we’re not careful, then we shall be doomed to a fate worse than “Jamie Redknapp’s!” We’re slowly but surely developing that very serious mental defect known in the Psychotherapy world as “Liverpool Syndrome” – where every transfer window a signing becomes the missing piece of the jigsaw – the one that turns everything around – the one that guarantee’s the league, and many other trophies. A syndrome where we answer everything with “oh, the Invincibles did ….” Similar to how they answer everything with “Yes but we won it 5 times…” “I think its 18 titles…”, you get my drift.
So here the big signing comes in – Dr. Phil… He can set up office in The Grove and meet us any time 9-5pm, Monday through Friday, or 9 till 3 hours after final whistle on match days, to stop this evil form of mental degeneration. He can guide us through the 7 stages needed to shake of “ The Invincibles.”
1) Shock or Disbelief – The signing of Mikael Silvestre comes to mind.
2) Denial – help us get over the fact that Van Judas would’ve left even had we matched the money on offer at Man Utd.
3) Anger – help us all to stop giving out about everything from the fish n chips to the strength of the toilet paper at The Grove.
4) Bargaining – The signing of Mikael Silvestre comes to mind.
5) Guilt – The signing of Mikael Silvestre comes to mind.
6) Depression – the last 3 years come to mind.
7) Acceptance and hope – To help us realise that even the mighty Barcelona did something similar to what we’re doing now, after great success in early 80’s and 90’s, they from 99-05 won no league titles and decided to build around youth, with smatterings of signings along with them it took from 99-05 to set this up, and the rest is history. Now with the core of their side being their own, they can afford to splash good money on only the 1 or 2 big names required. Granted it only took them 6 barren years but they weren’t up against the oil tycoons that we are, and Phil can help us realise this, and to realise the future is still bright.
Oh there’s one more.. I think it might be added at a sub-text to either No. 3) or No. 6), I Believe Dr. Phil also has the ability to stop people from Re-Tweeting Piers Morgan. I think this would be a definite sign of progress. How or why that ‘Ballbag’ keeps reappearing is beyond me, and we need help with this, more than we need a Defensive midfielder.
So with Phil’s help we can move forward, support as one, in a happy buzzing stadium, moving together in the same direction, with a team of players who can then play with “The Handbrake Off” as they won’t be criticised for the slightest mistake. And I for one who plays live music knows it’s much easier to play to a full house of happy folk, than a half empty one full of critic’s because you know they are watching for mistakes, whereas the full and happy house (supporters) will let you get away with it because they know in the end it’s going to be a great night.
So Doctor Phil please sign up ,help us shake off this “Liverpool Syndrome” before it’s too late, there’s a shiny tracksuit with your name on it, waiting for you in North London.
Cheers Woody for that much needed bit of light relief from the constant transfer gossip merry go round. Please follow the author and feel free to send him your thoughts @woodysirish or in the comment.
Until next time thanks for reading.
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